Rituals of Engagement

Using ritual to create sacred space in your life puts you between the worlds. You are on the threshold where all things are possible. The magic circles is a boundary, separating the sacred and the magical from the mundane. Out of all the rituals marking the passage of life, engagement is unique in that it is a threshold between stages in life. You are no longer single, but you are not quite married, either. As courtship turns into engagement, the relationship has deepened, yet the foundation is not quite solid. You are still in the process of building, exploring, and discovering. Engagement is the marker, the boundary, separating your old life from the new path you will walk with your betrothed.

Rituals of engagement are quite common. Most married people who would never see themselves as any sort of ritualist have performed engagement rituals. Asking for someone’s hand in marriage, accepting the offer, and trading rings are rituals that involve special words and ritualized actions, such as getting down on one knee, that carry life- changing significance.

Unlike marriage, which usually requires an official minister, engagement rituals are private, personal, and often spontaneous. They are simple and heartfelt. They can involve anything your imagination creates. Sometimes the individual who proposes hides a ring in a special place, creating a romantic treasure hunt, or has it as part of the presentation in a romantic dinner. Each ritual can suit the couple’s personality and style.

In a magical context, there are two kind of modern engagement rituals. The first is the question and answer. One person—traditionally the male in heterosexual couples—“pops the question” and presents a ring. The second can be a more magical acceptance of the engagement, where both people are clear, conscious, and purposeful in their magical intent in order to formalize their engagement and walk toward the path of marriage together. This is an approach to getting married through deep discussion and agreement.

The ring is the most important tool in this ritual. Some people get hung up on the size and quality of the ring and its stone, and jewelry companies have come up with creative marketing plans based on your monthly pay to determine the money you should spend on this ring. Obviously, they have their own interests at heart, not yours. To the magically inclined, the price and size of the diamond aren’t as important as the love and magic put into the ritual of choosing and offering it.

Diamond rings are most often used in engagement. The ring is a circle, a wheel, forever turning, an unbroken line. Gold is the metal of the sun and conjures a bright future. Magically, it symbolizes good fortune, success, health, creativity, and immortality. A gold ring is a symbol of a union that will last forever, shining brightly. The sun also rules the diamond. It is a most beloved gem and spiritually is one of the most powerful, for it represents the powers of light and transformation. In a diamond, the blackness of coal has been transformed into purest light and the color spectrum.

To bring out these blessings, consecrate the ring before offering it to your beloved. Wash it in pure water, envisioning all unwanted energies dissolving away. Hold the ring up to the sun and feel the rays of light catalyzing the powers of the gem and the precious metal. Feel it fill with light, and then hold it to your heart. Feel the love you have for your future spouse. Charge the ring with your love, your hopes, dreams, and magical wises. Enchant the ring’s energy to grow as the two of you grow as a couple, increasing your live and blessings. Then put it back into its box, or whatever container you will present it in, and close it. Don’t let anybody else see or touch the ring until you hand it to your love. As you present it, feel the love you have invested in it radiate outward. Let it inspire your heart and mind as you ask, “Will you marry me?"