An Enchanted Engagement

When two people in love decide to get married, it is a wonderful event for the entire community of friends and family. It is good to toast the happy couple and acknowledge this momentous occasion. Invite them over and anyone else who may want to share in this blessing.

Gather together

    * yellow roses and yellow candles to symbolize joy

    * champagne and sparkling cider and flutes for serving

    * sweet cakes and cookies, round in shape to symbolize rings

Once everyone has arrived, light the candles and hand one rose to each of the betrothed. Speak this blessing:

    Today we share our love with both of you
    We share in your joy for the future.
    You have given your hearts to each other
    We give our hearts to you.
    We celebrate this bright beginning
    And all the happiness it will bring.
    Blessed be, dear ___ and ___ [speak the names of the couple]
    You will give and live in total joy.
    Blessed be to thee. So mote it be!

Now pop the champagne and pass the bottle and the sweets around and share in this loving toast.

Whispers of Hopes and Dreams: A Ritual to Bless Your Engagement

Engagement is a monumental occasion in a person’s life, and so of course it should be celebrated with a little magic to bless your union! The important thing to remember in the engagement process is to make sure you share similar ideas about the path of life. Being engaged is a time to make sure you are compatible on many levels as you enjoy the romance. You will need to have frank discussions on career, home, health, children, sex, and the expectations you have for yourself and your partner in all these areas.

Sometimes when we are in love, we expect people to simply “know” what we want. Magical people expect that even more, feeling that their partner is so intuitive that they should be able to anticipate each other’s actions and opinions on these aspects of life. Though it would be ideal, that’s not realistic thinking. Sometimes it can be hardest to read those with whom we are closest. A good relationship requires good communication. This formalized engagement ritual involves dream sharing, and therefore, it should only be done after such frank discussions so that nothing comes as a shock. Preparing to perform this ritual is a good way to initiate such talks. It can be done right after the acceptance or at any point later in the engagement process. Just make sure you are both aware of each other’s ideas of the future before you begin your life together. When you are ready to move forward and begin the ritual, first go someplace comfortable where you will not be disturbed. This ritual can be done in your home or even at a quiet restaurant or coffee shop. Perhaps you’ll want to take your love to the place where you first dated.

Start with your favorite drinks. I like a good wine or champagne, but it doesn’t have to be alcoholic, just something you both enjoy and can share. Have three glasses ready. Light three candles: one of your favorite color, one of your betrothed’s favorite color, and the third of a color you both like. Unless you choose the same color for all three candles, the third candle should be different from the first two so that neither of you dominates in the energy of the relationship. When in doubt, three white candles work well. Each of you light your candle, and together light the flame of the third with your two candles.

Pour the drink into two of the three glasses, making each about half full. Hold the two glasses near the fire. Don’t get too close—you don’t want to shatter your glasses. The light, not the heat, is the important part. Speak close to the mouth of the glass, and whisper into the wine your hopes, dreams, and blessings for the marriage. What do you feel? What do you want to do? What do you want to create together? Envisioning a long, healthy, happy life together, you can talk about home, family, and careers. See yourselves supporting each other in separate goals and working together for your joint dreams. You each should speak your words into the liquid. Then pour both drinks into the third empty glass, combining your hopes and dreams. Share that one glass, savoring its flavor and reflecting on your future. Do not speak until you have both finished the combined drink. Look into each other’s eyes, and kiss. The ritual is complete.

Rituals of Engagement

Using ritual to create sacred space in your life puts you between the worlds. You are on the threshold where all things are possible. The magic circles is a boundary, separating the sacred and the magical from the mundane. Out of all the rituals marking the passage of life, engagement is unique in that it is a threshold between stages in life. You are no longer single, but you are not quite married, either. As courtship turns into engagement, the relationship has deepened, yet the foundation is not quite solid. You are still in the process of building, exploring, and discovering. Engagement is the marker, the boundary, separating your old life from the new path you will walk with your betrothed.

Rituals of engagement are quite common. Most married people who would never see themselves as any sort of ritualist have performed engagement rituals. Asking for someone’s hand in marriage, accepting the offer, and trading rings are rituals that involve special words and ritualized actions, such as getting down on one knee, that carry life- changing significance.

Unlike marriage, which usually requires an official minister, engagement rituals are private, personal, and often spontaneous. They are simple and heartfelt. They can involve anything your imagination creates. Sometimes the individual who proposes hides a ring in a special place, creating a romantic treasure hunt, or has it as part of the presentation in a romantic dinner. Each ritual can suit the couple’s personality and style.

In a magical context, there are two kind of modern engagement rituals. The first is the question and answer. One person—traditionally the male in heterosexual couples—“pops the question” and presents a ring. The second can be a more magical acceptance of the engagement, where both people are clear, conscious, and purposeful in their magical intent in order to formalize their engagement and walk toward the path of marriage together. This is an approach to getting married through deep discussion and agreement.

The ring is the most important tool in this ritual. Some people get hung up on the size and quality of the ring and its stone, and jewelry companies have come up with creative marketing plans based on your monthly pay to determine the money you should spend on this ring. Obviously, they have their own interests at heart, not yours. To the magically inclined, the price and size of the diamond aren’t as important as the love and magic put into the ritual of choosing and offering it.

Diamond rings are most often used in engagement. The ring is a circle, a wheel, forever turning, an unbroken line. Gold is the metal of the sun and conjures a bright future. Magically, it symbolizes good fortune, success, health, creativity, and immortality. A gold ring is a symbol of a union that will last forever, shining brightly. The sun also rules the diamond. It is a most beloved gem and spiritually is one of the most powerful, for it represents the powers of light and transformation. In a diamond, the blackness of coal has been transformed into purest light and the color spectrum.

To bring out these blessings, consecrate the ring before offering it to your beloved. Wash it in pure water, envisioning all unwanted energies dissolving away. Hold the ring up to the sun and feel the rays of light catalyzing the powers of the gem and the precious metal. Feel it fill with light, and then hold it to your heart. Feel the love you have for your future spouse. Charge the ring with your love, your hopes, dreams, and magical wises. Enchant the ring’s energy to grow as the two of you grow as a couple, increasing your live and blessings. Then put it back into its box, or whatever container you will present it in, and close it. Don’t let anybody else see or touch the ring until you hand it to your love. As you present it, feel the love you have invested in it radiate outward. Let it inspire your heart and mind as you ask, “Will you marry me?"