Croning Rituals

Our modern society has taken an unfortunate attitude toward aging, characterized by denial and shame. Rather than embracing the realization of their own highest wisdom, aging women are socialized into unhealthy regimens such as Botox and plastic surgery in vain attempts to turn back the clock.

Women should feel good about aging. They should celebrate long, full lives. Women should be respected and honored for the wisdom they bring to the community. One of the roles ritual plays in the world is to change the dynamic between a person and her community. Therefore, croning rituals are the signal to the group that a woman has ascended into a new role of service and leadership to the family, the tribe, the village, and the sisterhood.

Theories vary as to when a woman becomes a crone. Z. Budapest in her Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries says it happens to every woman at age fifty-six. Others say it is at age fifty-four, and Diana Paxson says it’s a range from sixty to seventy-one for the evolution from Queen to Crone. Often cronehood is confirmed at fourteen months past a woman’s last period, and when she has come to her second Saturnreturn. A woman should decide for herself when she feels

she has reached the age of “cronehood,” however; if she is not prepared to take on the title, then by all means she should wait until she is ready. Discussing it with other women will help authenticate what you know and feel inside. Support from the sisterhood is essential, and in many circles of friends and family, women who are of similar ages should sustain each other in life’s passages and honor each other as they wish to be honored.

The Crown of Cronehood: A Ritual of Honoring

The essential elements for this ritual are enough candles to represent every year of the crone’s life, flowers, silver wire, crystals, water, flowering branches, silver moon-shaped paper cutouts, and potluck food. The potluck food served at the party after the ritual will be even more special and good for all if they are “women’s food,” such as estrogen-filled yams, calcium-rich broccoli, and yogurt. Soy is recommended as well.

The first part of the ritual takes place before the honored guest, the new crone, arrives. Working together, women should take the silver wire and form a round crown. Glue semiprecious crystals to this crown, attach charms and amulets, and affix the silver crescent moons. Make it beautiful and meaningful. The silver moon is a sign of the Goddess, and the new crone is a representative of the Goddess’s third aspect. The crystals, which are the stones and bones of Mother Earth, add power and the beauty of Gaia. Charms and amulets are for health, protection, good luck, and good life. As you make it and place the jewels and charms on the crown, state your intentions and hopes for the new crone.

When the crown is complete, place it on a beautiful purple pillow or the altar.

Upon the arrival of the soon-to-be-crowned crone, the eldest woman present should take a flowering branch and dip it in water and sprinkle it on her head, just a few drops, and speak a blessing, such as:

I bless you in the name of the Goddess.
I bless you in the name of Mother Earth.
I bless you in the name of every woman.
Sister, do you accept the role of teacher and leader as crone?

The crone responds. If she accepts the title, then the eldest woman says:

She is crowned.

Now the elder places the Crown of Cronehood upon the new crone’s head. Go around the circle and have each woman speak of the gift she added to the crown.

I give you amethyst to represent the healing power of the planet.
I give you silver, sacred to the moon.
I give you roses, the flower of desire.
I give you a sacred heart charm to represent the mysteries of love.
I give you a blue star because you are a star.
I give you an abalone shell because you are powerful like the ocean.
I give you moonstone because you are wise and reflective.
I give you an angel pendant because you are so beautiful in body and in soul.

Now everyone should speak together:

We gather together to celebrate that [new crone’s name] is entering the Wise Age.

Now the eldest woman lights one candle, and each woman present takes turn lighting a candle until all fifty-six (or the appropriate number equaling this crone’s age) are lit.

Singing and chanting now take place with the circle holding hands:

[Crone’s name], Lady Mine,
We now honor you; we will never forsake you.
[Crone’s name], we listen to your wisdom with the love of our hearts.
We accept your teachings with ears and hands.
Blessed be the new crone! Long life and good health! Happiness and joy!

After everyone has spoken her tribute to the crone, she can speak her thanks. At this point, the crone assumes her leadership role. Leadership is best handled with great gravity and lightness at the same time. “Benevolence” and “wisdom” are the watchwords. The crone should speak anything she is holding in her heart. Doubtless, she will want to speak her gratitude toward the support of the sisterhood, but she should also speak forth any concerns she has. The concerns can be specific to her world, which is now her domain—her family, her group of friends, her spiritual circle, her community, or even the planet. The crone can choose to ask a pair of disputing friends to make up and work it out. She can request that a healing garden be made for her people. Whatever comes to her mind that will be helpful and essential to the group and the greater good is what she should speak. I know a crone who has asked people to help her build a community center, and it is happening. I know another crone who quit her high-powered corporate job to study the medicine wheel and become a shaman. Still another elder friend has taken up the brush and is painting beautiful art after years of working for the defense department. This is my mother, Helen, who is a wonderful example of the power of cronehood.

When the crone has spoken from the wisdom of her heart, everyone should again hold hands. The eldest woman who inducted the new crone again holds out the flowering branch and hands it to the new crone. The crone speaks her blessing to everyone present, touching everyone’s heads with a few drops of blessing water and reciting words from her heart to each person. When she is done, she says:

This circle is now open. Blessed be to all.

Now the food is served, and it should be a birthday party to remember for the rest of the crone’s life.