Passion Potion Massage Mix

Jasmine, neroli, amber, and just a touch of vanilla essential oils create a romantic and exotic scent that lingers on your skin for hours.

Gather together

    * ½ cup (120ml) unscented carrier (or base) oil, ideally jojoba

    * ¼ cup (60ml) jasmine essential oil

    * 10 drops amber essential oil

    * 5 drops neroli essential oil

    * 5 drops vanilla essential oil

    * dark-colored, sealable bottle with a dropper cap

Mix all the oils together in the tightly capped bottle and keep in a dark cupboard. Passion Potion will last six months. Remember to always shake well before using.

Swipe Left for Love: App Enchantment

We all know many people find romance on dating websites and apps. Use your witchy tools of a pendulum and a whispered spell for swift and accurate swiping!

Still the pendant and hold it over the photo on the app of people who may be of interest to you, and then ask it to indicate yes and no. When you get a yes, swipe away! When you have found a person of interest, craft your first message to them, and speak this spell:

    God of love, fly my letter hence at the speed of light.

    May the arrow of love find a mate so right.

    With harm to none and blessing for all.

    And so it is.

Now, hit send. Make sure to have a charming response at the ready!

Spelling Love

Jasmine and rose have very powerful love vibrations to attract and charm a lover. This simple spell, said aloud, will create loving magic.

Anoint the candle with both essential oils and close your eyes. Say to yourself:

Gather together

    * 1 white candle

    * jasmine essential oil

    * rose essential oil

    Venus, cast your light on me,

    A goddess for today I’ll be.

    A lover, strong and brave and true,

    I seek as a reflection of you.

Now open your eyes and gaze at the candlelight. Venus, goddess of love, has heard you.

Spice Up Your Life Spell

Start a fresh chapter in your love life without delay with this cup of love.

Gather together

    * cinnamon spice tea (from a shop) or 3 chopped cinnamon sticks

    * 1 cup (240ml) of hot water

    * 1 teaspoon honey

    * 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (or 3 more sticks ground in your mortar and pestle)

Brew and steep the tea for at least 3 minutes. Stir in the honey and savor the sweet, spicy smell. Drink it while contemplating your hopes, intentions, and dreams for a happy, healthy love life. Now, sprinkle the ground version of this charismatic spice on the threshold of your front door and along your entry path. When the cinnamon powder is crushed underfoot, its regenerative powers will help heat things up in your love life.

Love Magic Wands

Here is what you need to know about the perfect wand to use in rituals for romance:

    * Almond is a sweet wood and smoother than many; it is excellent for love magic.

    * Beech grants wishes, so be careful what you wish for!

    * Birch is a wood that is very powerful for new beginnings.

    * Ivy wood is related to women’s mysteries and will bind people together.

    * Lilac wands create beauty, harmony, happiness and bring you love.

    * Rosewood makes the ultimate wand for spellwork conjuring true, lasting love.

Timing Is Everything: Love Signs

If you want to strike up a conversation with the handsome, shy fellow at work, try it when the sun is in Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius, the best times for communication.

If, after a few successful dates, you are looking for things to heat up, fix an aphrodisiac dinner one Taurus or Scorpio moon evening, the most sensual of times.

Declaring your true love will go very well during the fiery signs of Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius.

If you want to rekindle a long-lost love, try it when either the sun or the moon are in the signs of Pisces or Cancer, when sentiments run high. As ever, timing is everything, and certain days are made for love.

You’ll have your best success in romancing an ambitious amour during the earthy signs of Capricorn, Taurus, and Virgo. You will probably find them while you are networking or building an empire.

Wanderful Invocation of Love

All of us want our home to be a welcoming place for love and contentment for ourselves and our significant other. You can greatly abet that outcome with this simple spell for binding love.

Gather together

    * 2 pink candles

    * rose essential oil

    * 2 long-stemmed pink roses

    * rose incense and incense burner

    * 2 rose quartz crystals, of any size

    * a tray to hold all these elements

    * your wand for love magic

Place all your ritual elements on the tray. Go to your bedroom and place the tray on your nightstand or another chest or table nearest your bed. Anoint your wand and both candles with the rose essential oil and place the roses and the quartz crystals beside the candles. Now light the candles and incense. Pick up your wand and intone aloud:

    This is a place where joy lives.

    This is a room where my heart gives.

    Here is a temple to love and delight.

    Here is a home filled with bliss and light.

    Blessed be, and so it is.

With your wand, draw a heart shape twice in the wafting smoke of the incense while saying “I love ____.” Stand, eyes closed, while visualizing you and your partner enjoying each other’s company, happy and in love. End the ritual by saying: “Blessed be.” I recommend keeping the tray in your bedroom where it can be a mini shrine to love.

Rocks for Romance

MOONSTONE—PROPHECY AND PASSION

In olden times, it was believed that wearing a moonstone during the waning moon would offer prophetic abilities. The people of India have held moonstones as holy for thousands of years, but they had a superstition against displaying the sacred stone except on a cloth of yellow, the most spiritual color in their culture. The Indians also believed moonstone was very potent in the bedroom and not only aroused enormous passion but also gave lovers the ability to read their future together. The only problem was that they had to hold the moonstone in their mouths during the full moon to enjoy these magical properties.

OPAL—CUPID’S STONE

In the classical era, humans believed that opals were pieces of rainbows that had fallen to the ground. They also dubbed this exquisite iridescent gem Cupid’s stone because they felt it looked like the love god’s skin. The Arabs believed opals fell from heaven in bright flashes of lightning, thus gaining their amazing fire and color play. The Romans saw opals as symbols of purity and optimism. They believed this stone could protect people from diseases. The Roman name for opal is so beautiful and evocative—cupid paedros, meaning “a child as beautiful as love.”

DIAMONDS—SHARDS OF THE STARS

Diamond has come to be a symbol of fidelity and is the traditional stone used in a ring for engagement, a pledge to be married and together forever. Since this gem is an aid to intuition, the ring itself will help the potential bride know if her betrothed is really “the one.” Diamonds also imbue courage and can help one face anything.

EMERALDS—HEART STONES

Emerald is truly a heart stone, offering benefits on physical and emotional planes. I prefer emeralds above all other stones for engagement rings. This is your ultimate gem for happiness in a relationship. In fact, emerald has been called the stone of successful love and can engender utter felicity, total loyalty, and domestic bliss in a willing couple. The emerald is at its most powerful if worn as a pinkie—or ring—finger ornament or in a bracelet on the right wrist. But wearers, be warned! Do not wear emerald at all times or its super-positive force starts to reverse. A little emerald luck goes a long way. 

GARNETS—THE COLOR OF LOVE

Red garnets are love stones. These sexy stones can help those with a lethargic libido tune into their passion. Green garnets are the real emotional healing stones. These crystals offer protection to the chakras. You should wear green garnets as earrings or in a necklace to get the most benefit from the inner and outer healing power.

JADE: STONE—JUST FOR LOVE

Red jade promotes the proper release of anger and also generates sexual passion. Serve your lover a passion potion in a cup of carved red jade while wearing only red jade. Sparks will fly!

JASPER—A JOLT OF LOVE ENERGY

Red jasper can bring emotions that lie beneath the surface to the forefront for healing. This stone is connected strongly to the root chakra, the source of sexual energy, and kundalini. If you would like to explore the sacred sexual practice of tantra, both partners could wear red jasper, the stone of passion. Red jasper can be a tool for rebirth and finding justice.

MALACHITE—HEART MAGIC

Malachite opens the heart and throat chakras and rebalances the solar plexus, enabling realignment of the psychic and etheric bodies. Malachite is best used as a ring on your right hand.

MOONSTONE—LUCKY IN LOVE

Moonstone opens the heart chakra and, very importantly, helps overcome any anger or hard emotions toward the self. Certain cultures have seen this as a Goddess crystal for millennia and see it as a source for nurturing, wisdom, and intuition. A moonstone is a powerfully protective and loving talisman for pregnant women. In India, moonstone is sacred and very lucky, but is even more valued in the subcontinent because it helps make you more spiritual. Moonstone is at its very best on your behalf if worn in a ring with a silver setting.

OPAL—FIRE POWER

Opal is best worn as a pinkie ring. It is also a popular engagement ring, as it is a symbol of faithfulness and is effective in bringing stability and longevity to relationships. Fire opal is good for business by promoting positive action and prosperity. Hold your opal in your right hand and your wishes will be granted! 

How to Rock It at Work!

 

I am sure you will find this to be true: certain crystals can be true touchstones in your life and bring multitudinous benefits, both emotional and spiritual. Find a spot in your workspace or office where you can incorporate gemstones into your each and every day. My desk is where my crystals are placed, so I can see them often. This can be your special corner of the world where you can renew and connect with your spiritual center. Picking up and holding your touchstones can be one of the most soul-nourishing small acts of self-care you can do.

Here are different crystals to rock at work and what they will do for you:

• Inspiration: amazonite, aventurine, carnelian, chrysolite, chrysoprase, citrine, green tourmaline, malachite, yellow fluorite

• Love: amethyst, magnetite, rhodochrosite, rose quartz, twinned rock crystals

• Abundance: bloodstone, carnelian, citrine, dendritic agate, diamond, garnet, hawk’s-eye, moss agate, peridot, ruby, tiger’s-eye, topaz, yellow sapphire

• Intuition: amethyst, azurite, celestite, lapis lazuli, moonstone, selenite, smoky quartz, sodalite, star sapphire, yellow calcite

• Protection: amber, apache tear, chalcedony, citrine, green calcite, jade, jet, smoky quartz

• Self-belief: azurite, chalcedony, chrysocolla, green tourmaline, hematite, rutilated quartz, tiger’s-eye

• Serenity: amber, aventurine, blue jade, dioptase, Herkimer diamond, jasper, kunzite, moonstone, onyx, peridot, quartz, rhodonite

• Confidence: carnelian, obsidian, quartz, selenite, sodalite, topaz

• Positive Energy: agate, aventurine, bloodstone, calcite, chalcedony, citrine, dioptase, emerald, garnet, orange calcite, ruby, topaz

• Deep Wisdom: emerald, fluorite, Herkimer diamond, moldavite, serpentine, yellow calcite 

Reveling in Love and Lust: A Beltane Tryst

Beltane is the sexiest high holiday for witches and one that is anticipated all year. I always look forward to having a joyful “spree” every May. Witches begin to celebrate Beltane on the last night of April, and it is traditional for the festivities to last all night. This is a time for feasting, dancing, laughter, and lots of lovemaking. The Celts of old made this day a day of wild abandon, a sexual spree, the one day of the year when it is okay to make love outside your relationship. On May Day, when the sun returns in the morning, revelers gather to erect a merrily beribboned Maypole to dance around, followed by picnicking and sensual siestas.

Ideally, celebrate outdoors, but if you are stuck indoors on Beltane Eve, pick a place with a fireplace and have a roaring blaze so celebrants can wear comfy clothing and dance barefoot. Ask them to bring spring flowers and musical instruments, including plenty of drums! Place pillows on the floor and serve a sensual feast of foods from the following list, under the title “Oral Fixations,” along with beer, wine, ciders, and honeyed mead that you can make or obtain from a microbrewery. Gather some of spring’s bounty of flowers—roses, tulips, and my favorite, freesias, in your favorite colors, or whatever is blooming with the most vitality where you live. Set out candles in spring colors—yellow, pink, red, green, white, purple. With your arms extended, point to each of the four directions and say, “To the east, to the south, to the west, and to the north,” and recite this Beltane rhyme:

    Hoof and horn, hoof and horn,

    tonight our spirits are reborn. [repeat thrice]

    Welcome joy into my home,

    fill my friends with love and laughter.

    So mote it be.

Have each guest light a candle and speak to the subject of love with a toast of Beltane Brew. Drumming and dancing is the next part of the circle. This is truly an invocation of lust for life and will be a night to remember for all. Now rejoice!

Handfasting Ritual: A Traditional Pagan Wedding Ceremony

The priest or priestess speaks:

    May the place of this marriage be consecrated,

    for we gather here in the ritual of love and bliss

    with two who would be wedded.

    [Bride’s name] and [Groom’s name], please step forward and

    stand here before your friends and family and before the gods and

    goddesses of the world.

    Be with us here, O spirits of the air

    and with your swift fingers tie the bonds between these two

    who would be married, and tie them closely and securely.

    Be with us here.

At this point, tie the two symbolic gift rings together with blue ribbon, then loop them over the willow wand and replace it on the altar.

    Be with us here, O spirits of fire

    and light their love and passion

    with your fiery ardor.

Light the incense from the candles and place it on the altar, then say aloud:

    Be with us here, O spirits of the earth

    and ground deep the roots of their love.

Pick up the willow wand and tie the gardenia to it. Then say:

    Be with us here, O spirits of water

    and let joy flow forever for [Groom’s name] and [Bride’s name],

    for as long as they are married,

    blessed goddess and merry god.

    Give to [Groom’s name] and [Bride’s name], who stand before us in

    the light of their love, your love and protection.

    Blessed be!

Here the audience responds:

    Blessed be.

Hold the willow wand with the rings and gardenia tied to it out to the bride and groom, instructing them:

    Place your right hand over this wand and the rings of this rite

    of marriage.

    Above you are the stars,

    below you the stones.

    As time passes, think upon this:

    like the eastern star, your love shall remain constant.

    Like a rock, your love will stand firm.

    Possess one another, but always be understanding.

    Have patience at all times,

    for stormy times come and go, but they leave upon the wind.

    Give each other love as often as possible

    of the body, the mind, and the spirit.

    Be not afraid and do not let the ways of others dissuade you from

    your path.

    The gods and goddesses are always with you,

    now and forever.

After a short pause, ask the bride:

    [Name], is it your wish to become one with this man?

She answers.

Ask the groom:

    [Name], is it your wish to become one with this woman?

He responds.

    Does anyone here today say nay?

Say to the bride and groom:

    Place the rings on each other now, [bride] and [groom].

    Before the gods, goddesses, and everyone here as witness,

    I now proclaim you husband and wife!

Now the bride and groom kiss. Next, they speak any words they have prepared for each other. Finally, it’s time for them to exchange their symbolic gifts. At the end, say:

    Now we ring the bells and it is proclaimed—this ritual is done!

Let Your Love Blossom: Your Magic Garden

A great relationship can be cultivated, literally. By planting and carefully tending flowers that have special properties—like night-blooming jasmine for heightened sensuality, or lilies for lasting commitment—you can nurture your relationship. During a new moon in the Venus-ruled signs of Taurus or Libra, plant an assortment of flowers that will surround you with the beauty and energy of sweet devotion.

Before you place your hothouse posies or seeds into pots or flowerbeds, bless the ground with a prayer of health for your plants, yourself, and your relationships.

Light a black candle to absorb and dispel bad energy and place it in the middle of a circle you have drawn with a stick. Dip your hand into a clay bowl of water and sprinkle drops behind you and before you. Sing out:

    Great spirit, I offer you this petition.

    Please cleanse this land—you are the greatest magician.

    With my hands, I will plant and sow.

    Here, a healing garden will now grow.

    Blessings to you and to the Guardians of the Earth.

Gardenia Ritual for Love and Ecstasy

Tantra, a greatly overused and gravely misunderstood term, comes from Sanskrit, and means “Ritual, Meditation, and Discipline.” It involves a form of mutual worship of the Godhead (lingam) and the Goddesshead (yoni), in which divinity is achieved through simultaneous erotic and emotional union. This exquisite approach to deepening the love between you and your partner requires you to share mutually held intentions.

At the nearest greenhouse or floral show, buy as many gardenias as your purse will allow. Ten or twenty of these heavenly flowers will fill your bower with a sweet, seductive air. Place some of the flowers in crystal-clear bowls of water and some in a warm footbath, and scatter some petals in your bed. Undress and light a single gardenia-scented candle at the head of the bed. Crush some of the petals and rub them into your skin and hair, then chant this love spell:

    From the soles of your feet to the holy lingam

    to the hair that crowns you, I will worship you tonight.

    Love and God, on this evening, I share my entire being in ecstasy.

    So mote it be.

Wearing nothing but one of the priceless blossoms behind your left ear, greet your lover at the door. Sit him in the bower bed and worshipfully wash, dry, and anoint his feet. When the two of you make love, you will reach new heights of sustained passion and spiritual intensity.

Seeking and Finding Love Spell

On a small piece of paper, write the name of your would-be love in red ink and roll up the scroll. Anoint the paper with rose or amber essential oil. Tie the scroll with red threads, incanting one line of the following spell per knot:

    One to seek my love, one to find my love,

    one to bring my love, one to bind my love,

    forever bound together as one, so mote it be.

    This charm is done.

Keep the love scroll under a candleholder with red candles at the north corner of your altar until your will is done. Make sure of your desire; this spell is lasting.

Flame of Love: A New Moon Candle Spell

If you are looking for love, perform this rite and you will soon find a lover to satisfy your needs. On the night of the next new moon, take two pieces of a pink or red crystal—rose quartz will do nicely—and place them on the floor in the center of your bedroom. If you are lucky enough to have two garnets, rough rubies, or pink tourmalines, by all means use two of those heart stones.

Light one pink and one red candle and speak this love and life-affirming chant:

    Beautiful crystal I hold this night,

    flame with love for my delight.

    Goddess of Love, I ask of you

    guide me in the path that is true.

    Harm to none as love comes to me.

    This I ask and so it shall be.

Now, make yourself ready!

Light of Venus: A Shrine for Loving Magic

To create your altar, find a small table and drape it in richly colored, luxurious fabrics—perhaps red satin or a burgundy velvet scarf. Take one red and one pink candle and arrange them around a sweet-smelling incense such as amber, rose, or jasmine. Decorate your altar with tokens that represent love to you: a heart-shaped chunk of ruby glass, potpourri made with rose and amethyst, a photo of your lover. Fridays are the time for spelling love, right before dawn. Before you light your candles, anoint them with a love oil of your choice.

Scent your wrists, your throat, and your left breast over your heart with the same oil. Jasmine and rose have very powerful love vibrations to attract and charm a lover. If you desire sexual results, look into the flame of the red candle; if your desire is affection or flirtation, look at the pink candle instead. This simple spell, said aloud, will create loving magic:

    Venus, cast your light on me,

    A goddess for today I’ll be.

    A lover, strong and brave and true,

    I seek as a reflection of you.

Relationship Corner

As you walk into your bedroom, the relationship corner will be the back right corner. Your love and sex energy have to be nurtured there, and you might as well consider placing your altar there to serve as your personal erotic wellspring.

Look at this area with a fresh eye—what is cluttering your love corner with dead energy? Half-empty perfume bottles or near- empty cosmetic bottles could be impairing your relationship energy. You must clear unhappiness out of this space, clear the area of any clutter by getting rid of all unnecessary objects and tidying up.

To cleanse the area, ring a hand bell anywhere clutter has accumulated, giving special attention to your bed and pillows. Here are a few tips:

• Never bring old pillows into a new home. Old pillows can cause poor sleep and bad dreams. They can carry old sexual energy and can kill a relationship.
• Never place your bed in the center of a room, as this will cause anxiety and get in the way of a healthy sex life.
• Never have the foot of the bed facing the door, as this brings very bad luck.
• To keep your lovemaking fresh, always make the bed and change the linens often.

Place these objects in your bedroom to attract loving energy:

• 2 rose quartz crystals of equivalent size r Pink, orange, or red fabric
  
• 2 red candles
• Images of two butterflies 

Personal Ritual for Renewal: Bed Blessing

Turn back the bedspread to reveal fresh sheets. In a red cup, mix a half-teaspoon of jasmine oil and a half-teaspoon of rose oil. Hold it with both hands and speak:

In this bed, I show my love.

In this bed, I share my body.

In this bed, I give my heart.

In this bed, we are as one.

Here, my happiness lies as I give and live in total joy. 

Blessed be to thee and me.

As you say, “Blessed be,” flick drops of your bed blessing oil from your fingers all across the bed until the cup is empty. Now, lie down and roll around in the bed. After all, that is what it is there for!

Marriage Rites: Handfasting Ritual

Weddings are usually planned at least a year ahead. If at all possible, choose a day during the new moon phase, as a marriage is a very important new beginning. Create a bower of beautiful, scented flowers and burn lightly scented candles. Traditional flowers recommended for the bower include roses, cherry and apple blossoms, and gardenias. As a gift at one handfasting, I gave the happy couple long-burning Votivo candles in mint-pomegranate scent, which lasts for days. On their anniversary, I always give them the same candles, so that they can rekindle the moment of their wedding, since smell and memory have powerful ties.

In Western culture it is customary for the bride to wear a veil and some red and blue in her wedding finery. Giving gifts is also an important part of the convention of weddings. The bride and groom should wrap small, symbolic presents for each other and set them on the altar, which is placed in the eastern part of the room or space. Altar decorations are simple and symbolic: just two white candles and a willow wand.

The wedding rings are affixed to the willow wand. At this handfasting, I also gave the bride and groom symbolic gifts of small rings and ribbons of blue to represent the energies of the air, red incense to be lit from the candles to represent the energies of fire, and a gardenia to represent the earth. Wine, which represents water, should be in a chalice on the altar. Wine for all, along with sweet cakes, should also be ready for the celebration and sharing with the guests and witnesses. Wiccan tradition calls for both a priest and a priestess to perform the handfasting, but in this case, and according to the wishes of the bride and groom, I officiated alone.

Since most of this couple’s family members were Methodist and Catholic, we wanted to make everyone as comfortable as possible with the concept of a highly ritualistic Pagan marriage. We created little cards explaining the origin of the handfasting and also provided the text and instructions for audience participation. The cards were tied to little bells to be rung at the end of the ritual to signal through sound that the marriage ceremony had been completed. Not only were the wedding guests comfortable with the ritual, they loved it. The bride wore a scarlet wedding dress, a lovely red veil, and a willow wand headdress. The groom wore an elegant tuxedo, which set off her fiery gown perfectly.

The text of the handfasting is as follows: 

The priest or priestess speaks: 

May the place of this marriage be consecrated,
For we gather here in the ritual of love and bliss
With two who would be wedded
[Bride’s name] and [Groom’s name], please step forward and stand here before your friends and family and before the gods and goddesses of the world.
Be with us here, O spirits of the air.
And with your swift fingers, tie the bonds between these two who would be married and tie them closely and securely.
Be with us here.

At this point, tie the two symbolic gift rings together with blue ribbon, then loop them over the willow wand and replace it on the altar.

Be with us here,
O spirits of fire,
And light their love and passion
With your fiery ardor.

Light the incense from the candles and place it on the altar, then say aloud:

Be with us here, O sprits of the earth
And ground deep the roots of their love.

Pick up the willow wand and tie the gardenia to it. Then say: 

Be with us here, O spirits of water,
And let joy flow forever for [Groom’s name]
and [Bride’s name],
For as long as they are married,
Blessed goddess and merry god.
Give to [Groom’s name] and [Bride’s name], who stand
before us in the light of their love, your love and protection.
Blessed be!

Here the audience responds: 

Blessed be.

Hold the willow wand with the rings and gardenia tied to it out to the bride and groom, instructing them: 

Place your right hand over this wand and the rings of this rite of marriage.
Above you are the stars,
Below you the stones.
As time passes, think upon this:
Like the eastern star, your love shall remain constant.
Like a rock, your love will stand firm,
Possess one another, but always be understanding.
Have patience at all times,
For stormy times come and go, but they leave upon the wind.
Give each other love as often as possible
Of the body, the mind, and the spirit.
Be not afraid and do not let the ways of others dissuade you from your path.
The gods and goddesses are always with you,
Now and forever.

After a short pause, ask the bride: 

[Name], is it your wish to become one with this man?

She answers. Ask the groom: 

[Name], is it your wish to become one with this woman? He responds.

Does anyone here today say nay?

Say to the bride and groom:

Place the rings on each other now, [bride] and [groom]. Before the gods, goddesses, and everyone here as witness, I now proclaim you husband and wife!

Now the bride and groom kiss. Next they speak any words they have prepared for each other. Finally, it’s time for them to exchange their symbolic gifts. At the end, say:

Now we ring the bells and it is proclaimed—this ritual is done!

Engagement Blessing Ritual

The important thing to remember in the engagement process is to make sure you share similar ideas about the path of life. Being engaged is a time to make sure you are compatible on many levels as you enjoy the romance. You will need to have frank discussions on career, home, health, children, sex, and the expectations you have for yourself and your partner in all these areas. Sometimes when we are in love, we expect people to simply “know” what we want. Magical people expect that even more, feeling that their partner is so intuitive that they should be able to anticipate each other’s actions and opinions on these aspects of life. Though it would be ideal, that’s not realistic thinking. Sometimes it can be hardest to read the person we are closest to. A good relationship requires good communication. This formalized engagement ritual involves dream sharing, and should only be done after such frank discussions so that nothing comes as a shock. Wanting to perform this ritual is a good way to initiate such talks. It can be done right after the acceptance or at any point later in the engagement process. Just make sure you are both aware of each other’s ideas of the future before you begin your life together.

When you are ready to move forward and begin the ritual, first go someplace comfortable where you will not be disturbed. This ritual can be done in your home or even at a quiet restaurant or coffee shop. Perhaps you’ll want to take your love to the place where you first dated.

Start with your favorite drinks. I like a good wine or champagne, but it doesn’t have to be alcoholic, just something you both enjoy and can share. Have three glasses ready.

Light three candles: one of your favorite color, one of your betrothed’s favorite color, and the third of a color you both like. Unless you choose the same color for all three candles, the third candle should be different from the first two, so that neither of you dominates in the energy of the relationship. When in doubt, three white candles work well. Each of you light your candle, and together light the flame of the third with your two candles.

Pour the drink into two of the three glasses, making each about half full. Hold the two glasses near the fire. Don’t get too close—you don’t want to shatter your glasses. The light, not the heat, is the important part. Speak close to the mouth of the glass, and whisper into the wine your hopes, dreams, and blessings for the marriage. What do you feel? What do you want to do? What do you want to create together? Envisioning a long, healthy, happy life together, you can talk about home, family, and careers. See yourselves supporting each other in separate goals and working together for your joint dreams. You each should speak your words into the liquid. Then pour both drinks into the third empty glass, combining your hopes and dreams. Share that one glass, savoring its flavor and reflecting on your future. Do not speak until you have both finished the combined drink. Look into each other’s eyes, and kiss. The ritual is complete.