Engagement Blessing Ritual

The important thing to remember in the engagement process is to make sure you share similar ideas about the path of life. Being engaged is a time to make sure you are compatible on many levels as you enjoy the romance. You will need to have frank discussions on career, home, health, children, sex, and the expectations you have for yourself and your partner in all these areas. Sometimes when we are in love, we expect people to simply “know” what we want. Magical people expect that even more, feeling that their partner is so intuitive that they should be able to anticipate each other’s actions and opinions on these aspects of life. Though it would be ideal, that’s not realistic thinking. Sometimes it can be hardest to read the person we are closest to. A good relationship requires good communication. This formalized engagement ritual involves dream sharing, and should only be done after such frank discussions so that nothing comes as a shock. Wanting to perform this ritual is a good way to initiate such talks. It can be done right after the acceptance or at any point later in the engagement process. Just make sure you are both aware of each other’s ideas of the future before you begin your life together.

When you are ready to move forward and begin the ritual, first go someplace comfortable where you will not be disturbed. This ritual can be done in your home or even at a quiet restaurant or coffee shop. Perhaps you’ll want to take your love to the place where you first dated.

Start with your favorite drinks. I like a good wine or champagne, but it doesn’t have to be alcoholic, just something you both enjoy and can share. Have three glasses ready.

Light three candles: one of your favorite color, one of your betrothed’s favorite color, and the third of a color you both like. Unless you choose the same color for all three candles, the third candle should be different from the first two, so that neither of you dominates in the energy of the relationship. When in doubt, three white candles work well. Each of you light your candle, and together light the flame of the third with your two candles.

Pour the drink into two of the three glasses, making each about half full. Hold the two glasses near the fire. Don’t get too close—you don’t want to shatter your glasses. The light, not the heat, is the important part. Speak close to the mouth of the glass, and whisper into the wine your hopes, dreams, and blessings for the marriage. What do you feel? What do you want to do? What do you want to create together? Envisioning a long, healthy, happy life together, you can talk about home, family, and careers. See yourselves supporting each other in separate goals and working together for your joint dreams. You each should speak your words into the liquid. Then pour both drinks into the third empty glass, combining your hopes and dreams. Share that one glass, savoring its flavor and reflecting on your future. Do not speak until you have both finished the combined drink. Look into each other’s eyes, and kiss. The ritual is complete.