The Crown of Cronehood: A Ritual of Honoring

Women should feel good about aging. They should celebrate long, full lives, and be respected and honored for the wisdom they bring to the community. Croning rituals, such as this one, are the signal to the group that a woman has ascended into a new role of service and leadership to the family, the tribe, the village, and the sisterhood. Elders say this coming of age occurs at the woman’s second Saturn return, which is at age 58 to 60, but modern women now often decide for themselves.

While this ritual can last as long as is needed, the actual crowning lasts for 5 very magical minutes.

Gather together

    * a flowering branch

    * a crown or tiara (you can easily obtain one at any costume shop), placed on the altar table

    * enough candles to represent every year of the crone’s life

Upon the arrival of the soon-to-be-crowned crone, the eldest woman present should take a flowering branch, dip it in water, and sprinkle it on the crone’s head, just a few drops, and speak this blessing:

    I bless you in the name of the Goddess.

    I bless you in the name of Mother Earth.

    I bless you in the name of every woman.

    Sister, do you accept the role of teacher and leader as crone?

The crone responds. If she accepts the title, then the eldest woman says:

    She is crowned.

The eldest woman places the Crown of Cronehood upon the new crone’s head. Now everyone should speak together:

    We gather together to celebrate that [new crone’s name] is entering the Wise Age.

Now the eldest woman and the youngest woman present light the candles. After everyone has spoken her tribute to the crone, she can speak her thanks. When the newly crowned crone has spoken from her heart, she ends with “Blessed be to all.” Food is then served, and it should be a birthday party to remember for a lifetime.

Croning Rituals

Our modern society has taken an unfortunate attitude toward aging, characterized by denial and shame. Rather than embracing the realization of their own highest wisdom, aging women are socialized into unhealthy regimens such as Botox and plastic surgery in vain attempts to turn back the clock. Women should feel good about aging; they should celebrate long, full lives. Women should be respected and honored for the wisdom they bring to the community. One of the roles ritual plays in the world is to change the dynamic between a person and her community. Therefore, croning rituals are the signal to the group that a woman has ascended into a new role of service and leadership to the family, the tribe, the village, and the sisterhood. Theories vary as to when a woman becomes a crone. Z. Budapest in her Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries says it happens to every woman at age fifty-six. Others say it is at age fifty-four, and priestess and writer Diana Paxson says it’s a range from sixty to seventy-one for the evolution from Queen to Crone. Often cronehood is confirmed at fourteen months past a woman’s last period, and when she has come to her second Saturn Return. A woman should decide for herself when she feels she has reached the age of “cronehood,” however; if she is not prepared to take on the title, then by all means she should wait until she is ready. Discussing it with other women will help authenticate what you know and feel inside. Support from the sisterhood is essential, and in many circles of friends and family, women who are of similar ages should sustain each other in life’s passages and honor each other as they wish to be honored.

Kwanzaa: December 26th

In 1966, a Black Studies professor at California State University in Long Beach, Maulana Ron Karenga, conceived Kwanzaa, which means “first fruit” in Swahili. Kwanzaa (December 26 to January 1) is very much a community ritual and begins with a gathering before an altar covered with the symbols of the season: corn; a woven mat; a unity cup; and an African flag of red, black, and green. Also on the altar are gifts made by the hand and a special Kwanzaa candleholder holding seven taper candles. The colors of the candles are red, for the blood of the people; black, for the people themselves; and green, for the land. Each night of the festival, a candle is lit commemorating and honoring the Seven Principles, Nguzo Saba, of Kwanzaa:

1. Umoja for unity

2. Kujichaguliaforself-determination

3. Ujima for shared works

4. Ujamaa for shared monies

5. Nia for life purpose

6. Kuumbaforcreativity

7. Imani for faith 

Croning Rituals

Our modern society has taken an unfortunate attitude toward aging, characterized by denial and shame. Rather than embracing the realization of their own highest wisdom, aging women are socialized into unhealthy regimens such as Botox and plastic surgery in vain attempts to turn back the clock.

Women should feel good about aging. They should celebrate long, full lives. Women should be respected and honored for the wisdom they bring to the community. One of the roles ritual plays in the world is to change the dynamic between a person and her community. Therefore, croning rituals are the signal to the group that a woman has ascended into a new role of service and leadership to the family, the tribe, the village, and the sisterhood.

Theories vary as to when a woman becomes a crone. Z. Budapest in her Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries says it happens to every woman at age fifty-six. Others say it is at age fifty-four, and Diana Paxson says it’s a range from sixty to seventy-one for the evolution from Queen to Crone. Often cronehood is confirmed at fourteen months past a woman’s last period, and when she has come to her second Saturnreturn. A woman should decide for herself when she feels

she has reached the age of “cronehood,” however; if she is not prepared to take on the title, then by all means she should wait until she is ready. Discussing it with other women will help authenticate what you know and feel inside. Support from the sisterhood is essential, and in many circles of friends and family, women who are of similar ages should sustain each other in life’s passages and honor each other as they wish to be honored.

The Crown of Cronehood: A Ritual of Honoring

The essential elements for this ritual are enough candles to represent every year of the crone’s life, flowers, silver wire, crystals, water, flowering branches, silver moon-shaped paper cutouts, and potluck food. The potluck food served at the party after the ritual will be even more special and good for all if they are “women’s food,” such as estrogen-filled yams, calcium-rich broccoli, and yogurt. Soy is recommended as well.

The first part of the ritual takes place before the honored guest, the new crone, arrives. Working together, women should take the silver wire and form a round crown. Glue semiprecious crystals to this crown, attach charms and amulets, and affix the silver crescent moons. Make it beautiful and meaningful. The silver moon is a sign of the Goddess, and the new crone is a representative of the Goddess’s third aspect. The crystals, which are the stones and bones of Mother Earth, add power and the beauty of Gaia. Charms and amulets are for health, protection, good luck, and good life. As you make it and place the jewels and charms on the crown, state your intentions and hopes for the new crone.

When the crown is complete, place it on a beautiful purple pillow or the altar.

Upon the arrival of the soon-to-be-crowned crone, the eldest woman present should take a flowering branch and dip it in water and sprinkle it on her head, just a few drops, and speak a blessing, such as:

I bless you in the name of the Goddess.
I bless you in the name of Mother Earth.
I bless you in the name of every woman.
Sister, do you accept the role of teacher and leader as crone?

The crone responds. If she accepts the title, then the eldest woman says:

She is crowned.

Now the elder places the Crown of Cronehood upon the new crone’s head. Go around the circle and have each woman speak of the gift she added to the crown.

I give you amethyst to represent the healing power of the planet.
I give you silver, sacred to the moon.
I give you roses, the flower of desire.
I give you a sacred heart charm to represent the mysteries of love.
I give you a blue star because you are a star.
I give you an abalone shell because you are powerful like the ocean.
I give you moonstone because you are wise and reflective.
I give you an angel pendant because you are so beautiful in body and in soul.

Now everyone should speak together:

We gather together to celebrate that [new crone’s name] is entering the Wise Age.

Now the eldest woman lights one candle, and each woman present takes turn lighting a candle until all fifty-six (or the appropriate number equaling this crone’s age) are lit.

Singing and chanting now take place with the circle holding hands:

[Crone’s name], Lady Mine,
We now honor you; we will never forsake you.
[Crone’s name], we listen to your wisdom with the love of our hearts.
We accept your teachings with ears and hands.
Blessed be the new crone! Long life and good health! Happiness and joy!

After everyone has spoken her tribute to the crone, she can speak her thanks. At this point, the crone assumes her leadership role. Leadership is best handled with great gravity and lightness at the same time. “Benevolence” and “wisdom” are the watchwords. The crone should speak anything she is holding in her heart. Doubtless, she will want to speak her gratitude toward the support of the sisterhood, but she should also speak forth any concerns she has. The concerns can be specific to her world, which is now her domain—her family, her group of friends, her spiritual circle, her community, or even the planet. The crone can choose to ask a pair of disputing friends to make up and work it out. She can request that a healing garden be made for her people. Whatever comes to her mind that will be helpful and essential to the group and the greater good is what she should speak. I know a crone who has asked people to help her build a community center, and it is happening. I know another crone who quit her high-powered corporate job to study the medicine wheel and become a shaman. Still another elder friend has taken up the brush and is painting beautiful art after years of working for the defense department. This is my mother, Helen, who is a wonderful example of the power of cronehood.

When the crone has spoken from the wisdom of her heart, everyone should again hold hands. The eldest woman who inducted the new crone again holds out the flowering branch and hands it to the new crone. The crone speaks her blessing to everyone present, touching everyone’s heads with a few drops of blessing water and reciting words from her heart to each person. When she is done, she says:

This circle is now open. Blessed be to all.

Now the food is served, and it should be a birthday party to remember for the rest of the crone’s life. 

The Gift of the Full Moon: A Native American Ritual

Many Native American tribes saw the moon as a teacher, for the bright light of the full moon was truly illuminating. While I advise caution with using aspects of indigenous culture, I think that learning the lessons offered while always honoring the source and ascribing references can be life-enriching. My motto is “appreciation without appropriation."

Accept the wisdom that is offered and respect the resource. Here is a full moon teaching from my friend Liz, who is of Native American descent and whose many happy clients attest that she is a very wise woman. The full moon ceremony should be led by a woman, an elder, who chooses a young man to be the warrior. His job is to serve the circle and serve the community by tending the fire as the Keeper of the Flame. The warrior is to be pure of heart. Selection by the elder is

the greatest honor because she sees into the pure heart and perceives the good this man brings to the community. Once the fire is built, other women can approach the fire circle crying out, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” When everyone else has arrived, the young man leaves and returns only when the fire is dying down to rekindle the flames. Whenever he approaches, he should announce, “I am the Keeper of the Flame."

The elder leads the women in discussion of whatever she feel is important, such as the welfare of an individual or the village, or she tells a story. Ultimately, this is a woman’s council fire and the well-being of the community is served in this monthly ceremony.

The elder is the leader of the full moon teaching and it lasts as long as she sees fit; only the elder can excuse women from the circle. Many full moon teachings, the council fires have grown shorter, the elder must know things are going well for the community! 

Sunday Spell for Welcoming Benevolent Spirits

We can all use more angels in our lives. Some angels take human form such as helpful friends or a thoughtful co-worker who are always there when you need them. Still others hover above in the ether and can be summoned with the right spell. Use this incantation when you need a guiding hand or angelic assistance. What you need: wind chimes, sage.

Imbolc Invocation: Calling Forth the Guardians

Candlemas, also known as Imbolc, is the highest point between the winter solstice and spring equinox. This festival anticipates the coming of spring with banquets and blessings. Tradition holds that milk must be served, and modern pagans have expanded that to butter cookies, ice cream, cheeses and any related foods. It is an important time to welcome new members of your spiritual circle and new witches into a coven. Candlemas is a heartwarming occasion, but it is still a wintry time, so kindling for the hearth or bonfire should include cedar, pine, juniper and holly along with wreaths of the same to mark the four directions alongside white candles in glass votives. Strong incense such as cedar, nag champa or frankincense will bless the space. The circle leader shall begin the ritual by lighting incense from the fire and begin by facing each direction, saying:

Welcome Guardians of the East, bringing your fresh winds and breath of life. Come to the circle of Imbolc.
Welcome Guardians of South, you bring us heart and health. Come to the circle on this Holy Day.

Welcome Guardian’s of the West, place of setting sun and mighty mountains. Come to us.

Welcome Guardians of the North, land of life-giving rains and snow. Come to our circle on this sacred day.

The leader should welcome each member of the circle and speak to the gifts they bring to the community. Everyone should acknowledge each other with toasts and blessings and break bread together in this time of the coming season.